Follow me on

I needed space to be cringe

Jojo Fraser aka mummy jojo

A quote popped up on my Instagram feed a few weeks ago from a guy called James McCrae.  It said:

Cringe is over.  From now on we are expressing our most heartfelt and nerdy thoughts and accepting each other despite our mutual weirdness and imperfections.

(Words are Vibrations)

I instantly gave him a follow because I have found my mind naturally cringing a lot lately and I hate it.  Despite my best efforts to get back to the carefree version of myself, sometimes we need to be patient and compassionate.  It’s like a battle between my mind and my soul.  I want to stay friends with my mind so that it doesn’t piss off and leave me again.  But I don’t always like my mind.  I don’t like when it judges.  I don’t like when it cringes.  I find cringing to be cringe.  People get so offended, they can cringe so easily.  Someone had posted on Threads:

List all the things that make you cringe.

I swear my phone is listening to me, knowing I had planned to do my next blog and podcast on cringing.

My initial thoughts on ‘things that make you cringe’ were – judgemental people who cringe all the time and spoil the fun of living.  I love being around super open minded people.

I scrolled through the list which said things like:

When people say ‘hollybobs’!

When a pregnant person says ‘prego’.

Noisy eaters.

The terms ‘for the win’ and ‘game changer’.

All ‘what I eat in a day’ posts.

Saying pub instead of bar.

The expressions – FOMO and Bae.

People who share how many days sober they are.

People who say ‘I will pray for you’.

Winning athletes who say ‘Firstly, I want to thank my Lord and Saviour’

The words toxic, gaslighting and narcissists – they are everywhere and so overused.

I will stop there but you get it.  The comments went on for days.  What we cringe about varies, but how much does it matter?

Sometimes we carry around cringes that aren’t even ours, we pick them up from those around us.

I saw another post that said:

When I first started my instagram, I blocked literally everyone I knew because I needed the space to evolve into something nobody expected of me.  I needed space to be cringe.

I love that.  I think we all need space to be cringe.  I find that I put my most ‘cringe posts’ on channels that I think mainly people I don’t know will see.  I get it.  It is common for people to block friends and family members.

I think cringing can be a laugh.  I love to take the piss out of myself and I love it when people share their cringe moments.  But sometimes we cringe too much.  Are we too in our head?  I would say at the moment there are days I am a little too in my head.  I think it is a safety mechanism to keep me grounded.  But I still love to have fun.  Sometimes we need to tell the judgemental person in our head to back off.  Let me ask you, are there some cringes you need to let go of?  For me, I will never apologise for the silly things I do as long as they don’t hurt anyone.  You can laugh at my dancing, singing and playing.  You may think I’m crazy for asking bearded men for selfies for my worldwide beard challenge which started back in 2006. I remember how much people would cringe when I would go and seek out those worthy beards.  But I loved it and we got some amazing pictures.  Some cringes in life are wonderful and worth every second.

There is a cringe for everything these days.  We live in a society where people get ‘the ick’, a society of ghosting.  Then they come back for a nosey so it’s gone from a ghosting to a haunting.  I asked my kids what they think of the word cringe.  My 9 year old son said:

Calling people cringe is cringe.  We should just be ourselves. 

I wanted to eat him. Absolute hero.

My thoughts are we should cringe less and live more.  We should share the cringes and laugh about them and learn.  But what if it comes to a rock bottom cringe?  Perhaps you had far too many drinks and did something so embarrassing.  Even worse (and I can relate) perhaps your mind stopped keeping you safe and you lacked capacity for a period.  Maybe some people loved that version of you but others hated it.  Maybe you are horrified or mortified for something that YOU would never do.  So it wasn’t even your fault.  But it haunts you.  You may be having the nicest day then BANG your mind reminds you and the cringing starts.  That sucks.  I personally think I need some kind of rock bottom cringe therapy.  But I am holding out for now as ironically it was therapy that triggered me.  Apparently some minds can’t cope with talking therapy, so I was told by one of Scotland’s top psychiatric  consultants.  That info would have been handy.

For a rock bottom cringe you may need a bit of help.  Perhaps you feel you have had no closure as you are too embarrassed to apologise or are afraid getting in contact with someone may trigger them. I remember sending an apology for my first ever rock bottom cringe back in 2020. I had a lovely message back saying:

Look, you weren’t well.  It shows a lot about your character that you wrote this and I really appreciate it.

I expected a curt response if any but I get a compliment.

Someone recently apologised to me.  The message was heartfelt and they used words like mortified and ashamed. I wrote back reminding them that we all make mistakes, nobody is perfect and thanked them for the apology.  Being brave and reaching out can be an amazing thing.  If the apology is sincere and you are yourself when you write it, I don’t think you can ever regret it.  But perhaps you need a bit more healing time.  Or maybe if you have been blocked and ghosted, you could write a letter of apology, send it energetically and then burn it.

If the cringe is just for a silly thing and nobody has been hurt then I encourage you to take yourself less seriously.  Life really is too precious and too short.  We need to seize the day and cherish every day we wake up healthy and happy.  What a gift.

I was booked for a speaking event this week and I asked her where she found me.  She said through this website and that after reading my reviews she knew I would be the lighthearted fun they wanted for their event.  They are looking for cringe.  They want to let their hair down and not take themselves too seriously.  The event is in 2025 so I told her I am sure I will have made some mistakes that we can laugh about between now and then.  Just hopefully none that hurt anyone which means staying well.  Every single day that I wake I feel thankful for my health and so should you.  Cringes included.  In a world that has built what is essentially a mechanism to deter us from behaving in ways that risk us losing status or gaining the negative judgement of others, remember that being yourself is so much more fun.  For those with rock bottom cringe trauma, it’s great that you care.  But make sure you care for yourself too.  Keep laughing and never ever stop playing.  I’ll try too.  You got this.  Jojo x

Check out my the full podcast episode on cringing below or at your fave podcast app.

 

Jojo Fraser aka ‘Mummy Jojo’  is an award-winning mental health researcher, author, podcaster and speaker, dubbed as ‘the Queen of positivity and a kindness advocate.   She is a Tedx speaker and a regular contributor on BBC radio.  Jojo is known for normalising discussions around our mental, emotional and spiritual health, making it accessible and relatable to all.  She has quickly grown a reputation for having a huge impact even on the most sceptical of people.

She is a mega foodie and water baby and loves going on adventures, wild swimming and music.

Connect with her across social @jojofrasermojo

(the old Instagram was hacked)

Listen to her Tedx talk about the power of removing our masks.

Contact – mummyjojoblog@gmail.com

Jojo Fraser - scottish presenter and blogger

 

Follow:

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.