I heard someone use the term ‘broken home’ recently and it didn’t sit right with me. One of the key definitions of broken is:
‘having given up all hope; despairing’
I know many couples who, after time and thought, have decided to raise their children (or pets) as friends. Does that make the family broken, having given up all hope? I would say quite the opposite and over the years I have interviewed many people who have spoken about staying in a toxic relationship for way too long because of guilt and shame inducing terms such as ‘a broken home’. I know many, many couples who have moved on and found healthy relationships. It just took a little bit of bravery but they are now thriving. Happy parents = happy kids.
Knowing when to leave a relationship is SO important. Sadly, what I see time and time again is people hanging on simply to keep up appearances. We don’t get sustainable results when we focus on shame and blame. We get sustainable results from showing up fully in life.
As I said in a blog a few months ago, if you hear words such as ‘broken home’ or ‘it’s so sad’ then you could use the following:
‘Please don’t say that as it is one of the best decisions I have made for my physical, spiritual, emotional and mental health.’
We need to start celebrating people who chose to be brave and put their health first. The number one reason for poor or amazing mental health is our relationships. So we should nurture them if we are happy or be honest if something isn’t right.
Speaking of the word broken, it takes me back to a blog I wrote in August 2019 called you will not be broken.
To quote some of it:
I started thinking about what it means to be broken. Tears? No, they don’t make you broken. Tears are beautiful. Tears demonstrate that you feel. They make you human. An impulsive outburst of rage? No, that doesn’t make you broken. It means you care. It means you want to grow. We all have pain to deal with and things to make better. We all have issues that we feel passionately about. Don’t stop feeling. Know that you need to be heard. Know that your voice matters. Use your voice. Stand tall. You will not be broken.
You got this.
Jojo Fraser is an award-winning mental health researcher, author, podcaster and keynote speaker, dubbed as ‘the Queen of positivity and a kindness advocate. She is a Tedx speaker and a regular contributor on BBC radio. Jojo is known for normalising discussions around our mental and spiritual health, making it accessible and relatable to all. She has quickly grown a reputation for having a huge impact even on the most sceptical of people.
Connect with her across social @jojofrasermojo
Instagram (the old account was hacked)
Listen to her Tedx talk about the power of removing our masks.
Contact – mummyjojoblog@gmail.com
