Dear Jojo, Can you help me raise awareness about something really close to my heart? I have left my husband and it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted. BUT.. some friends and family still tell me that they are so sorry. Why would they be sorry? It is what I wanted and the idea made me happy. It makes me angry to hear other people saying sorry. Can’t they say well done instead? Well done for having the courage to go ahead with it.
Hello and thank you for such an honest email. I could really feel your emotion and I want to start by wishing you a future filled with joy, laughter and pure, unconditional love. I send you peace and happiness and of course a huge well done for being brave enough to follow your dreams. There is a quote that I love:
Your new life is going to cost you your old one.
It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction.
It’s going to cost you relationships and friends.
It’s going to cost you being liked and understood.
It doesn’t matter.
The people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side.
You’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that
actually move you forward.
Instead of being liked, you’re going to be loved.
Instead of being understood, you’re going to be seen.
All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are.”
I hope this is of comfort. You get ONE precious life on this earth. The years can pass by so fast so we have to live each day like it is our last as much as we possibly can. If there is even a tiny chance of getting something that will make upi happy, risk it. Life’s too short and happiness is too rare.
There are two things I am obsessed with. Happiness and Love and the two work hand in hand. How can we be truly happy if we don’t first learn to love ourselves? How can we love others if we don’t love ourselves? Love is an action word. If a person close to you is making you feel smothered, unhappy, insecure, anxious or unloved then you simply must take action. When we let things fester, they can make us very sick. It sounds like you are certain you made the right choice, so I won’t remind you of the importance of communication. What I find from a lot of my research and messages is that very often listening can be lacking. The art of really listening to a person is so important. We have two ears and one month which I take to mean judge less and listen and learn and love more. If we are living in a state of lack then we will find it harder to listen because we will be in victim mode. So, you need to meet people where they are to an extent. This is hard but I feel it helps to avoid unwanted conflict and knots on your shoulders. It sounds like you have grown as a person to be honest and therefore you are no longer in a fear based state. I would really encourage you to spend time with super positive people who light you up. Do this like your life depends on it. Take time to breathe each day. I can also suggest cold water therapy, laughter and lots of journaling.
I find travelling is great as it gives us a real sense of clarity. It is the perfect cure so book yourself a nice trip or go explore the country you live in. I know from your email that you don’t live in Scotland but it’s a beautiful place to visit. Keep playing music, it is so important. Do one thing each day just for you. For those that continue to say sorry about something that for you is very healing and positive, why not respond with:
‘Please don’t say that as it is one of the best decisions I have made for my physical, spiritual, emotional and mental health.’
That will shut them right up 🙂
You got this ! x
Jojo Fraser is an award-winning mental health researcher, author, podcaster and keynote speaker, dubbed as ‘the Queen of positivity and a kindness advocate. She is a Tedx speaker and a regular contributor on BBC radio. Jojo is known for normalising discussions around our mental and spiritual health, making it accessible and relatable to all. She has quickly grown a reputation for having a huge impact even on the most sceptical of people.
Connect with her across social @jojofrasermojo
Listen to her Tedx talk about the power of removing our masks.
Contact – email@example.com