I joked on an Instagram reel recently about how we respond to change. Even the smallest change can make us a little uncomfortable, such as sitting in a different seat at the table. I did this for a test at home and sat in the seat my son often sits in. Everyone started asking me: ‘Why are you sitting in Charlie’s chair?’. My response was: why not? Sometimes it’s nice to see a room from a different perspective. Plus, if we break it down, it’s a chair in a communal room. Is it time to start shaking things up a bit, even if that is as simple as sitting on a new seat from time to time?
On my podcast, time for a mojo injection episode 137, we bring on change expert Sid Madge, founder of @meeehq who have transformed the lives of over 20,000 people. Sadly, Sid had just lost his beloved dog Bilbo when we recorded, a huge change that broke his heart. I loved chatting with Sid and getting all of his top tips when it comes to navigating through all the changes life brings be they big such a grief or small such as changing your seat. Jump in here to tune in.
I asked Sid to share with us further on the blog and I was nodding in agreement at everything he said. I hope this helps you as you navigate through the highs and lows in life. Over to you Sid.
Managing change in just a few minutes
I’m a great believer in instant change, little ‘micro-moments’ of learning or adaptation that allow us to actively take charge of our situation and emotions in the moment, to reset and to bring more of our best to help ourselves and others. Each micro-moment intervention is designed to be actionable in a minute and I’ve written three books on these micro-moments for life, work and family.
Here are five simple ways to cope with change and build resilience, in just a few minutes a day.
1. The Natural Health Service
We’ve all been in awe of the National Health Service through the pandemic but the Natural Health Service is also worth shouting about. Change, even positive change or change that we are excited about, can cause disruption and elevated stress. Cortisol is the body’s main stress hormone and too much of it can cause havoc to our health and mental wellbeing. Cortisol also creates negative feedback loops which means that the more cortisol we create in the body the worse we feel which in turn creates even more cortisol in a downward spiral.
It’s so important to break that downward spiral as quickly as possible and one great way is to get near nature – a park will do. Pay attention to the sounds and smells and simply enjoy some quiet time and the fresh air. As autumn is with us, one thing I love doing, especially with my children, is trying (and succeeding) to catch a falling leaf. It’s also a great game and it looks very silly to anyone watching. The bigger leaves like sycamore and horse chestnut are far easier to catch as they’re bigger, But there’s great kudos if you catch a smaller one like an oak leaf. You might even create a game with points awarded for the how many you catch and how hard they are based on their size. Being outside in or around nature has restorative powers that allow us to get back on an even keel, so we can more forward constructively with the change.
Instead of sitting inside to eat your lunch, why not go to a local park with some work friends and enjoy lunch al fresco. If possible, add in a little walk too. Just breathe and listen to the sights and sounds of nature.
2. Celebrate Failure
Change requires us to do, think or be different in some way. This often means mistakes, failures and slip ups along the way. It’s rare that we move seamlessly from one position to the other without some stumbles. Learning to ride a bike is a change—change from walking to a new form of transport—and learning to ride a bike doesn’t just happen miraculously, like the flick of a switch. It’s a journey of anxiety, questionable balance and a few scrapes. Everyone fails their way to riding a bike.
We all know this and yet when we become adults, we dread failure. It is seen as a weakness or something that must be hidden or fudged. And that is rubbish! Failure is the only way to succeed at anything, including successful change. This is known as having a growth mindset – the idea that everything is possible and we can get better at anything if we stick with it and persevere.
Next time you have to make some changes recognise that A to B is never linear. There will be days that you stuff up. Times when you feel that you are taking three steps forward and two steps back. That’s OK. Just keep going. Take a minute to think about how many times you have embarked on change and created unrealistically high expectations for yourself. Stop expecting immediate perfection and instead settle for consistent effort.
3. Positive Habits
What do you love? What makes you happy? Is it meeting up with friends, listening to really loud music or singing at the top of your lungs in the car on the way to work? Do you love taking some time out and reading a good thriller? Or do you just enjoying some family time at the end of a challenging week? Whatever it is, do more of it.
Change can be disconcerting. It can feel like your whole life is being shaken, so deliberately hang on to the positive habits that already make you feel happy and safe. If you don’t have any of those, make them. Take a minute to think back to a time in your life when you felt especially peaceful or happy. What exactly were you doing? Have you stopped doing that? If so, why?
Another great habit to get into is appreciation. In the shower in the morning or on your daily commute, take a few minutes to think about the three things that you are most grateful for in your life. Relish those things in the midst of change.
4. Take care of the basics
If you want to emerge from change fighting fit and raring to go then you need to take care of the basics. That means eating healthy food, getting enough micro-nutrients, enough sleep and drinking plenty of water.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t have take-outs or go out for a few drinks – just take care of the basics most of the time. Getting enough rest is also crucial. To help with sleep make sure you don’t have a TV in your bedroom and no checking Facebook or TikTok before bed. Ideally don’t have your phone in your bedroom. Get an alarm clock and charge your phone in the kitchen. Trust me – the world will not tilt on its axis if you are not within touching distance of your phone for a few hours.
Make eating well easy for yourself. Take a few minutes to plan your meals for the week and make sure there is plenty fresh fruit and vegetables in the house. Also consider a social media detox for a day or so. You might be surprised at how much better you feel.
Another great way to disperse cortisol in your system is to move and get physically active. You don’t need to go overboard – no need to pound the pavement at 5am. Just move your body. Put on a favourite song and dance around your living room—like no one is watching—for a few minutes.
Social psychologist, Amy Cuddy demonstrated that changing what your body is doing for as little as two minutes can massively reduce cortisol levels. In her study she had half the volunteers engage in a ‘high power pose’ for two minutes and the other half engage in ‘low power poses’ for the same time. Neither group was told what they were doing. High power poses are anything that increases the physical space we take up with our body. The classic one is the superman pose. Stand up strong, with your legs hip distance apart, hands on your hips as though you’ve just landed to save the world! Low power poses are the opposite and take up less space so these include being hunched over looking at your phone. What Cuddy found was that using baseline levels for testosterone (confidence hormone) and cortisol (stress hormone) before and after the experiment, those who did high power poses experienced a 20 percent increase in the confidence hormone (testosterone) and a 25 percent reduction in the stress hormone (cortisol). Those doing the low power poses for just two minutes experienced a 10 percent reduction in the confidence hormone and a 15 percent increase in the stress hormone.
Next time you need a hit of confidence during the change process, go to the bathroom and engage in two minutes of superman pose. You may feel like a complete idiot, but it will do wonders for your health and wellbeing. Start each day with a family superman pose before leaving the house! Think of yourselves as The Incredibles!
By taking just a few minutes a day and following the suggestions above you can put yourself in the best possible state of mind to manage change successfully.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sid Madge is the founder of Meee which draws on the best creativity and thinking from the worlds of psychology, neuroscience, branding, education and sociology, to help people achieve extraordinary lives. To date, Meee has transformed the lives of over 20,000 people, from leaders of SMEs to PLCs, to parents, teachers, students, carers, the unemployed and prison inmates.
Sid Madge is also author of the ‘Meee in a Minute’ series of books, which each offer 60 ways to change your life, work or family life in 60 seconds.
Jojo Fraser is an award-winning blogger and keynote speaker, dubbed as ‘the Queen of positivity and a kindness advocate. She is author of the book and founder of the podcast ‘Time for a Mojo Injection’. Jojo is a Tedx speaker and a regular speaker on BBC Radio, known for normalising discussions around our mental health, making it accessible and relatable to all. She has quickly grown a reputation for having a huge impact even on the most sceptical of people. She has a huge passion for helping people to get their mojo back.
Contact her at – firstname.lastname@example.org or across social @jojofrasermojo
Follow Jojo’s popular podcast here, which is dubbed by her global listeners as ‘free therapy’.