This morning I spoke on BBC Radio Scotland about my thoughts regarding Boris Johnson going teetotal until his second baby arrives around Christmas time. I did a poll across social media and many have a strong opinion on this. It’s currently around 50/50 on Instagram and 70% for still drinking vs 30% for cutting it out on Facebook.
Here are my thoughts:
The positive side to the Dad drinking means that when hungover, both can wallow together. Personally, I felt pretty hungover when pregnant (without drinking any alcohol). However, if you have one bathroom then the pregnant Mum deserves the loo first at all times. I get that both are self inflicted, but if it’s a case of pregnancy symptoms vs alcohol induced symptoms then the pregnancy wins every time. The hungover Dad should also go out in search of any cravings!
On the plus side, being the designated taxi driver can provide many insights. Sometimes alcohol can make people pretty selfish so it is knowing your limits. I remember around 10 years ago, my husband ran away at a party after my request for us to ‘go home because I was tired’. In retrospect, I could have just left without him. But that man is frugal so the empath in me didn’t want to rob him of a ‘free taxi ride’.
I think there is something really nice about those who wish to show solidarity, that’s if you don’t go back on your promise. Every cloud, it’s a great chance to bond, help the Mum feel super supported and also – good for your health. If you are going to go on a bit of a detox, then when your partner is pregnant is a pretty ideal time. Either way, pregnancy is an emotional rollercoaster, so having a supportive and compassionate partner will make a huge difference to that mojo. Whilst he didn’t give up the booze, I still remember some of the amazing things my husband did for me such as giving me relaxing massages, cooking me my favourite meals and enjoying chilled movie nights. He also encouraged me to get out for lots of long walks which was great. Even if I did need to stop for regular pee breaks with all sorts of extra pressure on my organs down below. Although our babies had no intention of moving, both were 15 days late. No amount of walking would help get them out. But it helped me feel a little better.
Pregnancy doesn’t have to be a lonely time, it takes two to tango so feeling like you are in it together is important. It’s also great preparation for the birth, which is an amazing bonding experience. I think if I were to do it all over again, I would still be pretty relaxed if Hubs wanted to have a few drinks here and there, as long as he wasn’t going out too much on a ‘bender’ and leaving me home, shattered with 2 kids and a growing baby. He is a bit of a home boy though so I have never had to have those discussions. Like anything, the key is loads of communication and a bit of compromise. Extra bonus points for something as huge as growing a miracle human inside your body for 9/9.5 months.
You got this.
Jojo Fraser is an award-winning author, podcaster and keynote speaker, dubbed as ‘the Queen of positivity and a kindness advocate. She is a Tedx speaker and a regular speaker on BBC Radio. Jojo is known for normalising discussions around our mental health, making it accessible and relatable to all. She has quickly grown a reputation for having a huge impact even on the most sceptical of people. She has a huge passion for helping people to get their mojo back.
Contact her at – firstname.lastname@example.org or across social @jojofrasermojo