I have spoken a lot over the past year about getting the balance between connecting to our spiritual health whilst remaining grounded. This can be hard if you take your practise to deeper levels, whatever that means for you. To me, there is a fine line between calling out the ego and connecting to higher powers of love and light, whilst keeping our feet on the ground and embracing our body and mind. Many can get a bit lost on this quest.
I recently had a lovely chat on time for a mojo injection with Edward Reid. Edward is an entertainer, radio presenter and happiness and wellbeing coach, based in Glasgow. He shared openly about how his inner critic started to pipe up as he got lots of bookings after his time on Britain’s Got Talent. He was fed up of the imposter syndrome and wanted to take action. In 2016, Edward trained with The British School of Meditation and became a qualified Meditation Teacher. I love his down to earth and fun approach to Mindfulness. At first it can be a bit of trial and error, but mindfulness is important for everyone because negative self talk can impact us all. Self compassion is so key. Meditation gives us the tools to focus on being kinder to ourselves and others. Sometimes it’s more important to spend time in a gym for the mind.
Edward spoke about how meditation helped him to be more present and thankful as he cared for his Dad in his final months. Being present and out of our over thinking mind is such an amazing gift and there are many moments in life that are so beautiful. You can listen to the full conversation here, on your favourite podcast channel or at the video link below.
Edward asked if I had heard of havening, from the word ‘safe haven’. Havening refers to a newer alternative therapy technique that incorporates distraction, touch, and eye movements. The goal is to reduce stress and anxiety associated with negative memories. Havening involves touching yourself (easy now) in a very soothing way, similar to the stroking movements used to calm a baby. Our first experience of trauma is being born and then we are placed in our Mothers arms and soothed instantly. These movements send us into a calm state. Edward said he was totally buzzing after it and has since trained to deliver sessions. The repeated relaxing movements trick the brain into thinking its in a delta wave. This then starts to chip away at limiting neural pathways in the brain that have been created in childhood or in the past. These beliefs are then replaced with positive affirmations. Examples of new, positive beliefs that we spoke of:
I am loved, I am lovable, I am capable, I am protected. I am safe. I am guided.
As Edward explains so well in the podcast, trauma is like being hit with two arrows. The first one is the pain. The second one is the suffering that comes with it. Havening is believed to get rid of the suffering arrow, so you still remember the trauma, but the suffering that you have carried is removed.
Edward asked if I would be keen to try a session, which we booked in a couple of weeks ago. I speak about this experience in more detail in this weeks podcast, epiosde 128. After a chat, we decided that we would work with some past trauma I experienced on the road, when an older lady came flying out at a give way sign, straight into our car. Edward asked me to feel the trauma in my body and give it a mark out of 10, which I gave a 9. I could feel it in my chest and stomach. We then spent time doing the havening techniques and it felt like I had created a lovely, protective bubble around me. I felt super calm at the end of the session and the feeling of distress in my body had moved from 9 to 0. Since going onto the roads, I have definately felt calmer and to my husbands delight, have felt less need to control what’s going on when he is driving. I often check mirrors, blind spots for him etc instead of leaving him to bash on. I would much prefer to be relaxed, enjoying the chat or music instead. I’ll keep you posted, hopefully I have surrendered and got rid of my suffering arrow. What I like, is that after the session, you can continue to use the havening techniques at home, out in the car or where you need them. I like to think of it as brainwashing for the mojo. If you play a song that you enjoy a lot, you will find it hard to get it out of your head. I did this recently with you got a higher power by Coldplay. The kids and I continued to sing it to ourselves and I think it is a pretty good mantra to live by. Flood your brain and subconsious mind with good thoughts and it will start to hold onto them and believe it.
Edward and I are both in agreement that music and laughter are great toolkits for the mind. So, get the music playing, shake those hips and let your hair down. You got this.
Jojo Fraser is an award-winning author, podcaster and keynote speaker, dubbed as ‘the Queen of positivity and a kindness advocate. She is a Tedx speaker and you can often hear her on BBC radio talking about our mental fitness, which she has been researching for the past 7 years. Jojo is known for normalising discussions around our mental health, making it accessible and relatable to all. She has quickly grown a reputation for having a huge impact even on the most sceptical of people.
Contact her at – firstname.lastname@example.org or across social @jojofrasermojo