My work as a mental health researcher has allowed me the privilege of meeting so many wonderful people. I am often reminded that we all have issues to overcome and that healing is the new high. I have spoken to hundreds of people who have been on a journey of healing. People who are now thankful for lessons and really appreciate the highs because they have been through the lows.
I loved my podcast show with Gemma Blamire, globally accredited transformational health coach. She talks openly about her ectopic pregnancy, disordered eating, a nutrition plan that changed her life and finding peace and joy through healing.
I asked Gemma if she thinks there is always a trigger or if some of us are simply more prone to certain behaviours.
Her response was:
I think if you have the need to control, and you don’t heal what gives you that need to control, you will just move from one controlling behaviour to another. I didn’t know what to do with the feelings and emotions involved with growing up with a Dad who was an alcoholic. I couldn’t control what he did. I couldn’t control how I felt. So I turned to controlling what I eat. I got addicted to the empty feeling that 100 laxatives will give you. I couldn’t get to sleep until my body felt empty but what I was doing was purging the feeling and the emotions that were caught up inside. Somewhere deep inside I didn’t want to let go of that coping mechanism. Then I moved to over training so one obsession was replaced with another. At first, I got help for those who loved me, I didn’t do it for me. It wasn’t until years later that I started to work through that stuff and heal properly.
These behaviours gave Gemma a sense of power when she felt powerless.
Gemma had a joke and a laugh with me too because she is now in a place to do that. She joked that the laxitive habit was far too expensive, when her husband made her promise she wouldn’t do it again. Many of you will know that I had my own mental health scare in early 2020 where I lost touch with ‘reality’ due to insomnia and over stimulation. I wrote about it in detail here and am so happy that it is helped so many. For some time, my husband and I have thankfully been in a place where we can have a bit of banter around some of it. I know how good it is for the mojo to laugh our way through life when we are able. It helps.
I think it is important what Gemma so wisely said about being ready to heal. A person has to be in a place that they want to get better. You can hear the full chat below, I was left feeling super inspired.
Gemma is co founder of an exciting new venture, The Self Care Book Club, perfect for those of us who love books, and have a passion for all things self-care and personal development. She kindly sent me a box which was full of lovely treats from a lovely notebook and pen, homemade fudge, delicious coffee and of course a great book. To really get the most out of each book, readers are invited to join the team on the last Sunday of the month to enjoy movement, meditation and an opportunity to build new connections and friendships. This is a virtual self-care event. Each event will be lead by an inspirational guest speaker and where possible, they facilitate a meeting with the author.
After I read it, I wanted to hop onto amazon and leave it a review, the book is like a warm hug. I love how MC shows up fully on every page and provides journal prompts and loving kindness and compassion based mantras at the end of each section. I love a positive mantra. Her faith in God resonated with me and I totally understand what she means about feeling like she had been touched by the holy spirit. The ego can often kick in and it can seem very ‘uncool’ or ‘out there’ to talk openly about deep spiritual experiences, but I think it is so important that we normalise these conversations around our spiritual health. I love how MC is so honest about the fact that she was so ashamed of her faith, even though she knew how powerful it was. I think there is a lot of taboo around the spiritual world, mainly due to all the bed press around religion. People want to spread the negative stories and we don’t often hear about all the good that goes on. Being raised in the church, I saw so much good and felt so much unconditonal love. As I reached the age of around 20, I had my own experience of pulling away and asking questions such as:
Why would a loving God send people to a fire of hell? If love is unconditonal, why banish people from the church who were born attracted to the same gender? To me, God is unconditional love and light and power and hope and ego free. We get more of what we focus on. Rather than wasting time debating these issues with others, I think we just need to open our minds, practise a bit of self compassion and take the time to go within and be still. That is where faith and surrender comes in because we will never know all the answers. At a mindset conference, I heard a speaker once say:
The voice telling you that you suck or that you are unworthy isn’t the voice of God.
MC also shares my love of connecting to nature and cold water mojo injections, great ways to connect to the soul.
I also found myself feeling motivated to fuel my body with the good stuff when I finished reading it is what it is. If you read my blog eating mindfully for the mojo, you will have seen my chat about the Lions Mane Coffee. This coffee blend is created by MC who is not just a great writer, podcast guest and coach, but a bit of a scientist too. You can find out more about her amazing blends here.
I love her passion for overall wellness from good food, movement and remembering that peace is an inside job and it’s always worth the work.
So, between my podcast chats with Gemma and MC, my lovely pamper box from The Self Care Book Club and reading it is what it is, it’s fair to say that the mojo injections were pretty strong. I am full of gratitude that my work allows me to meet such wonderful humans. We come one.
You got this.
Jojo Fraser is an award-winning author, podcaster and keynote speaker, dubbed as ‘the Queen of positivity and a kindness advocate. She is a Tedx speaker and you can often hear her on BBC radio talking about our mental fitness, which she has been researching for the past 7 years. Jojo is known for normalising discussions around our mental health, making it accessible and relatable to all. She has quickly grown a reputation for having a huge impact even on the most sceptical of people.
Contact her at – firstname.lastname@example.org or across social @jojofrasermojo