This week, on time for a mojo injection, episode 122, we are talking about speaking from the heart, knowing that your voice matters. When we show up fully, we start to heal and inspire others. It’s often said that depression is being stuck in the past, anxiety is being focused on the future and peace is being in the moment. It can take patience and faith to get to a place whereby we can feel present, alive and empowered.
We all have our own story and we need help to process any natural feelings of shame, uncertainty and self blame, knowing that these are crucial feelings in the recovery process. Recently, I got chatting with a lovely lady called Lisa Rolland, initially Lisa was in touch to discuss me speaking at an event. Funnily enough, Lisa had heard me on BBC radio the morning before we were due to catch up on the phone. She saw this as a sign that we were to connect (I am big on signs too as many of you may well know). Lisa had followed my journey of talking openly about being sectioned and going through my own period of trauma. We got chatting and she very bravely shared her story with me.
Lisa shares how she experienced constant feelings of anxiety and a deep fear inside of her that would flare up from time to time. She had discussed this with her psychologist and also her desire to take a leap of faith and report the trauma. She realised that she owed it to herself to use her voice, knowing that she had a right to speak her truth. By not allowing her voice to matter, it was impacting her mental health even more. Hearing others speak out, inspired her to do the same. She had a strong feeling that she owed her younger self to do it. Once she found the strength to push the fear aside and open up, she felt so much lighter with a new found drive to help others, because our biggest wins can come from our greatest challenges. Sometimes we know that speaking out is the right thing to do, but something holds us back. It can take true courage to break the mould. My deep rooted passion has always been to normalise the ‘hard conversations’ to allow others to live fulfilling lives. To quote Lisa:
‘I now feel massively empowered. I feel able to talk openly and honestly about who I am. Holding back prevented me from being real a lot of the time. I can face challenges. Emotionally, I can be myself. I can be openly sad, I feel so much more empathy with people. I now have the ability to feel at peace with myself, knowing I have done the best I can with a horrendous experience. I have finally given my 11 year old self the chance to run free and be herself and when things do get hard for her, I can sit with it and know that it will pass. I did nothing wrong yet the shame and guilt can be so debilitating. It’s time for me to get on and live my life. I feel alive.’
What powerful words. Often we don’t speak our truth because of fear of what others will say or think. But here is the key –
What you can’t say owns you and what you hide controls you.
We can’t reach the highs without acknowledging and accepting the lows. The strength that comes from overcoming the dark times is so empowering. We can fight the battles, knowing that there is strength in survival. How do you know how positive you are if you have never been negative?
I love what Lisa says about letting her inner child run free. I first discovered inner child work when I started deep meditation practise with the mindful enterprise in January 2019. I found it both insightful and transformational in terms of thinking about my self worth and the limiting beliefs I had picked up and any suppressed emotions that were locked away. When we are triggered, it gives us an amazing opportunity to welcome these emotions and reflect on them. By acknowledging and accepting our emotions, they have less power over us. As Lisa so eloquently explains – it’s about making it count.
You got this.
Lisa is a proud mum, step-mum, birth mum and nana to 8 boys. She is an entrepreneur with a social conscious and a desire to empower women. She is scared and vulnerable but happy to challenge all things negative in search of positivity. You can reach out to Lisa – Lisa@thepaintshed.com
Jojo Fraser is an award winning author, coach, podcaster and motivational/TEDX speaker. She has been a mental and spiritual health researcher for the past 7 years and helps to empower, motivate and uplift the leaders she works with. She is known for her straight talking and bold approach. Her mission is simple – to normalise what many see as ‘the hard’ conversations and in breaking the stigma, save many lives.
She is a regular speaker on BBC Radio, a keen foodie, lover of trail running, wild swimming, spa days and she loves to sing. Jojo writes about all things mindfulness, relationships, positive psychology and lifestyle.
You can purchase her first book here.