One of the hardest things in life is to watch someone that you love going through a difficult time. It can be hard to know what to do or say, particularly when you’re aware that the only thing that will really help in the long run is time. Here are some tips that might just help you out in those tricky early days.
First and foremost, remember that you should stay calm. It might be very easy to get upset or angry, particularly if you feel that your loved one has been treated unfairly, but you need to try to stay as calm as possible when you’re talking to them. They’re likely to be feeling a lot of complicated emotions and you should try not to exacerbate them and make the situation worse – they could end up doing something rash, and you could make them feel considerably worse. You should also remember that a lot of the time, a divorce involves children, and when that’s the case, one of the most important things is that they should maintain a good relationship with both of their parents. Be calm when speaking about their other parent so you don’t inadvertently make that relationship difficult.
Make Sure They’re Legally Covered
When you’re going through something as difficult and as life altering as a divorce, it can sometimes be hard to think straight. It would be a good idea for you to make sure that your loved one has been in touch with a good divorce lawyer. A lot of splits start amicably, but even if your loved one’s ex partner has made promises, they naturally aren’t legally binding and once they realise the financial implications of their situation they might very quickly go back on those promises. Your loved one needs to protect himself or herself, so recommending family solicitors who can help out would be a good idea.
Offer To Do Specific Things
When situations like bereavement and divorce occur, a lot of well-meaning people say, “Let me know if there’s anything that I can do.” Although this is usually said with the best intentions, it can be hard to actually take them up on it. So if your loved one is going through a hard time, offer to do specific things. Go over and bring dinner with you. Do some ironing. Offer to babysit (this is particularly helpful if someone has recently become a single parent – it can be very hard to figure out how to juggle that new way of life).
Don’t Fade Out After A Month
Being there and listening is one of the most important things that you can do. Offering advice often simply isn’t necessary – all you need to do is let your loved one release their emotions and talk things out. It’s important to remember that the pain and grief of a divorce doesn’t go away immediately, so don’t assume after a few weeks that everything’s back to normal. Keep checking in, sending love, and helping out.
It can be hard to know how to help out your loved ones at a hard time like a relationship split, but these tips should help guide you on the path to success.