My top 10 tips for coping with overwhelm – when the wheel of life puts you in a head spin

My top 10 tips for coping with overwhelm – when the wheel of life puts you in a head spin

I have had a lot of messages lately about overwhelm.  This is something I often talk about, because we are fully aware that with the rapid developments in technology and how connected we have become via our screens, be that the latest apple watch or social media platform, we are in danger.  Overwhelm often leads to anxiety which leads to actions and behaviour that aren’t good for us.  Last night, when I was tempted to pour a gin and chill on the sofa, I went for a swim.  I turned my phone off about 8pm and left it in my bag.  I didn’t touch it again until around 8.30am today.  It felt wonderful.  I had time to daydream.

Many of us feel overwhelmed for various reasons.  Let me talk you through an example.  This image is one of many on my vision board.  The reason being because I love feeling strong and I like wearing tight jeans.

This was me not so long ago training constantly and feeling good in my skinny jeans. I pushed my body hard, lifted impressively heavy and ran loads of miles each week. There was no dieting. Then I launched a podcast and book. I focused on work and my kids and soon enough, as training started to slip, and desk time crept up, those jeans would no longer fit. But work was going great and the kids and I were feeling close. But what about that wheel of life that so many amazing coaches refer to.  If we get what we focus on then can we have it all?

 

The wheel of life - Jojo fraser

 

 

That wheel of life has around 8 – 10 categories depending on which one you look at. With 24 hours in a day and 8 of those being spent asleep  (I’m an 8 hour girl), my head is spinning like a wheel trying to fit it all in.  I want to focus on everything.  I want to do it all.  To the best of my ability.  But I can’t. And neither can you.  And guess what? That’s okay.

Here are my top 10 tips for coping with overwhelm – when the wheel of life puts you in a head spin.

1. Small steps add up and sometimes you can multitask those steps..

A couple of examples from the wheel –

Health and Family

I’ve been eating a lot more plant based meals and I get the kids involved in this too.  Bonnie is loving making some healthy eating videos.  She is utterly brilliant by the way and has already has some brand requests.  Check her out.

I have started to make the cafe trips a little less and instead we have been embracing adventures together outside. We run, we scoot, we walk, we explore, we swim and we dance.  There will always be dancing.

2 – We need a support system

I love delegating, I love asking, I love collaborating.  I need people.  I love help!!

(thanks to @michaelulloapt for working with me on my nutrition – some nice mojo injections for my mind and body).

3 – Beating ourselves up is energy wasted and it saps our confidence.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.  STOP IT RIGHT NOW.  It’s great to have goals.  We need them, it’s the way we are wired.  Some months we achieve lots and we slip in other areas.  Think slow and steady, do not give up.

4 – Never compare yourself to other people.

In a world that we are encouraged to compare, why not make a stand?

5 – I mean NEVER compare yourself – the only competition is YOU. 

Be inspired by people, give compliments.  You are still awesome too.

6 – Keep moving, our bodies need it.

Okay, you may hate the gym right now.  You may have lost that running bug.  Go easy on yourself.  Sometimes we slip up.  What small steps can you take?  I spoke on stories last week about getting up from my desk every 40 minutes and shaking like Miley Cyrus. I mean go hard or go home. Bond with the kids outside walking or running over snuggling (love both). Why not use an app where you can walk and talk and it types for you? Send any good ones to me please.

7- Take the time out to soothe your brain because it needs it to perform better.

Mindfulness can be a calm, quiet walk. Silence is pure golden.  If you don’t you will do your own head in and anxiety will come pounding on your door.  It is so easy for us to become overwhelmed but as my amazing guest, Gavin Oattes, said on the podcast this week, there comes a point when it’s not funny anymore.  It’s not funny when you are trying to be perfect all the time and it’s getting you down.  It’s not funny when you are failing to take the time out for your mental health.  It’s not funny when you are constantly complaining because you hate your job.  It’s not funny when you waste your time judging others and spreading negativity.  It’s not funny when you have no idea who you really are.  It’s not funny when you need to talk to someone and your ego will not allow it.

8 – The wheel of life is a great guide but we will never be able to get 10/10 on it all.

The key is to know the areas that you feel a bit stuck.  Areas that you really want to improve on.  Then you can take some small steps to make changes.

9 – We all struggle and excel in different ways.

What may seem impossible to you, may not be as big a deal to someone else and vice versa.  I know I get excited and carried away.  Sometimes I go large.  I book up to run a marathon with a young baby.  I write a book when it feels like I have no time.  I do stuff that some have dubbed as ‘unrealistic’.  But that stuff was right for me in those moments because they were dreams that excited me.  Stay in your own lane.  Do what feels right FOR YOU.  We all have our own visions, strengths and weaknesses.  We all have crazy potential.  Do things that excite you.  Not what you think you should do.

10. When rejection kills your connection

Rejection can kill our connection.  With ourselves and with other people.  It’s horrible.  Don’t let rejection knock you back.  Don’t let it stop you connecting.  It can be easy to go into a shell, which prevents us from connecting with people on a deeper level.  Take time to become connected to yourself.  Make sure you see people face to face too.  We all need support when it comes to our goals.

You got this.  Jojo x

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