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Thoughts on Fathers Day – The Real You

Jojo Fraser - happiness is being the real you

The word Dad means a lot of different things to us all.  Perhaps your Dad is your hero and always will be.  Perhaps you have other role models and people you love and are thankful for.  People who have shaped your life.  Today isn’t just about being a Dad.  It’s about love.  It’s about the men in our life who have made our world a better place.  This morning I was led in a prayer with hundreds of others, to say thanks for all the men who have had a positive impact on the world.  We prayed for men that would love to be a Dad.  We prayed for people missing their Dad.  We prayed for all those men who are father figures and role models.

Sometimes the word Dad has negative connotations for people.  Perhaps your Dad let you down.  Perhaps you still carry baggage from childhood.  Perhaps you love your Dad, but you struggle to like him.  Perhaps you feel this way about other men in your life, brothers, partners, friends and colleagues.  We all experience pain and rejection.  We all have our own battles and unique outlook in terms of the way we see the world.  I feel thankful I have a Dad who encourages me to be me.  I feel thankful to have lots of other men in my life who do that too.  Some are no longer here on earth and I am equally thankful for them.  They are still part of me, part of who I am today.

I spoke recently about finding the real you.  The real person you are meant to be.  That sweet spot.  That place we can’t access through our intellect nor our ego.  To quote the amazing pastor and author Karl Martin:


‘That person is fearless, that person is joyful.  That person is supremely loving.  That person is truthful.  That person is life giving.  That person is significantly encouraging.  That is who you are.  That’s the true you.  That’s who you were created to be.’



We are born perfect.  Absolutely perfect.  I remember looking down at my babies sweet little faces and being blown away by the sheer perfection of them. Yes, even when I realised that Bonnie our first baby was the absolute double of my Mother in Law (she looks a lot like me too now).   Love you Grandma if you are reading this x

I remember holding their little fingers as they were locked around mine.  Of course that bubble can’t last forever,  Life as we know it will never be perfect.  The problem comes when we either pretend to be perfect or we strive to be perfect all of the time.  That’s way too much pressure and guilt.

Being true to who we are takes time and effort. It also takes guts to stand, when what we really feel and want to do isn’t what others want us to do.  Perhaps those who we love. You need to STOP compromising your hopes and dreams to please others.  We all have our own dreams and desires.  As Bonnie and I sang at my book launch, sometimes it takes closing our eyes to see the world that is waiting for us.  A world we call our own. And through the dark, through the door, through where no one’s been before, it feels like home.  What feels like home to you?

Funnily enough, I started to learn a lot about myself when I was travelling around the world for a year.  I was no longer defined by my home, my job and my possessions.  I had a backpack and the most expensive things I owned were stolen throughout the course of the year.  They weren’t the most valuable thought.  I learnt things about myself that year that money could never buy. I also had time to appreciate our amazing world and the people in it.   Time to discover my passions.   Time to connect on a much deeper level with what feels like home to me.

At what point, during each day, can you make time to connect with yourself and your purpose? We need to take a stand each day, to become a happier, healthier version of ourselves.

Tonight, I am thankful for all the amazing men who are wonderful role models and I am sending love and comfort to all those who miss their Dad right now and to all those who would love to be a Dad.  Remember that it takes a village to raise a child and we can all have an incredible impact on our kids.  We can all encourage them to be more and to live more.


Scottish wellbeing author and blogger Jojo Fraser




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