How to stop fearing rejection and start celebrating it
Rejection can be tough. It hurts. It can bruise our ego. But here are the facts. It will happen to us all. Rejection is a normal part of life. Not everyone will like you. Not everyone will get you. You will not be needed by everyone. That is okay, totally okay. We live in a very large world, full of opportunities. Full of people who take that rejection and use it. They use it to grow. They use it to change. They use it to get better and better.
I was asked in an interview this morning how I deal with rejection. I had to really think about this long and hard, because sometimes it takes effort to deal with rejection like a legend. But it’s always worth the effort. Do you want to be your own living legend? I sure do. I want to have enough motivation for life and enough healthy, adaptive narcissism and self-belief in myself to accept rejection gracefully.
Have you ever split up with someone and they have taken it really badly and lashed back? It has happened to me in the past. I have been called all the names under the sun for the pain I caused. It wasn’t graceful. It certainly made my choice so much easier. Have you ever had someone email you in an aggressive manner to ask why you have still not replied? I get a lot of emails, sometimes it takes me a while to respond to them. You know what makes me way less likely to respond? If I get an aggressive email which says I am rude for not responding to the time scales that would be expected. In fact, those emails are instantly deleted without a further thought.
Coping well with rejection is key to living a happy life. This year, I have been working hard to further develop my mindset around rejection. Rejection is part of the game, it’s part of the fun. I write in chapter 2 of my book about how I try and pull an Adele when it comes to rejection. I celebrate it and sing ‘I wish nothing but the best for you’. You got rejected? High five, it means you tried. It means you loved, it means you gave your energy to someone or something. They didn’t want you? Amazing, someone else is going to get lucky. Someone that sees the value in you because we all have value. We all have a wee bit of magic in us.
It’s important to remember that rejection doesn’t define you. You still have something amazing to say. You still have talents and gifts and the world needs you. The world needs you to bash on, without fear. To keep working hard to follow your dreams and be the person you want to be. That person who is excited about getting out of bed on a Monday. That unstoppable person who doesn’t let rejection crush them. There is nothing scary about rejection, don’t fear it. Put in your best effort, be yourself. If it is not enough for someone, it will certainly be enough for someone else.
I have put together a very short video for you.
The next time you are rejected, I want you to jump and dance around. I want you to shout –
‘YES, they didn’t want me, they didn’t need me, I got rejected.’
Sing, dance, celebrate it. Think about what opportunities you can take from the rejection. How you can use the time to work towards other goals that excite you. How can you learn and bounce back? How can you stumble across something even better? Keep dancing, stay on your feet and jump around if you have to. You don’t even have to worry about getting back up again. Because you have not been crushed. You are still awesome.