Research suggests that life is best for many when we hit our mid 30’s. I turned 35 at the weekend, so I shall give you my take on it.
Obviously, life can come up and give us a huge slap on the face randomly at any age. But I have to say, being in the mid 30 bracket is a bit of a mojo time for me. Here are my reasons why I think being 35 is fabulous.
Bringing Mojo (Jojo) back
I’m a nice person who has been a pushover in the past. Experience and time has taught me to find the right balance. I ain’t no diva but I no longer put up with crap either. I remember saying to an ex-boyfriend “I love myself more than you now”. Because I was tired of him making me sad time and time again. I followed my gut which was simply:
It is time to be treated with the respect I deserve.
Always follow your gut.
When I was 30 years old, I lacked energy. I was getting into my way with parenting. My body had changed and I piled on the weight, because it can happen so easily. I didn’t feel in control. I had lost my balance. Back then, exercise was a chore and food was my best friend. At 32, shortly after our 2nd baby, I decided to take control back.
4 years on and and when I watched Bonnie blow out her candles last month, I felt so different from the way I did at her first birthday party. I felt strong, full of energy and confidence.
Fitness has been a regular part of my life now for 3 solid years, even when I can’t be bothered. Which makes it a new formed habit. I slot it in, just like I slot in time to brush my teeth and have a shower. I do it for all the right reasons now – for me and not for anyone else.
There are 24 hours in a day so surely I can dedicate even half of one to do something that makes me both physically and mentally stronger. I see fitness as an investment. It gives me more energy for my growing, active family. It’s essential for my wellness levels and it keeps life exciting (and clothes shopping way less soul destroying).
I was trail running last week, taking in one stunning sunset and one of the guys there said to me “this is better than therapy”! I have to agree. A lot cheaper too.
At 33 I ran a marathon and as I approach 35 I am fitter and have more stamina than I have ever had. I don’t get complacent anymore either. I keep setting new goals so fitness doesn’t get boring. I keep mixing things up.
I ask my husband to support me with my goals, instead of talking me out of them. He gives me space to train and encourages me on the days I can’t be bothered. Because he gets it and knows I will never regret a workout. In many ways, exercise is his therapy too plus he looks fantastic – #ripped. Bonus.
I’ve met so many amazing and inspiring people since I joined David Lloyd last year. Graeme Starkey, I often refer to as team GG, challenges me and teaches me so much about looking after my body and mind. He reminds me that I can. He encourages me to keep drinking water, to find balance with the booze and continue to smash new comfort zones.
Watching Bonnie learn to swim so well this year has been magical. Seeing her push herself and see the value in hard work gives me a huge buzz. She has inspired me to get better at swimming too.
Being in the water is most definately one of my happy places. I like to call it water and wellness.
Often, mid 30’s is the time that many have a career and creative breakthrough. I feel that now my attitude has changed. I have learned to say no to things I don’t love and I now focus on doing things that get me jumping out of bed in the morning. As the years get faster, I want to focus on making them count. I want to focus on things that make my stomach flip. My husband says my eyes literally light up when I talk about work stuff. I never thought that would be possible. Find something you love, something you are good at, something that you believe in. Something that you believe makes a difference. Then it’s not really “work”. It’s just an exciting part of your life which helps to pay the bills. A part of who you are. Do what you love.
Scientists claim we hit our sexual peak
Happy days. Age aside, I think exercise certainly helps for stamina and confidence in the sack. My Mum occasionally reads my blog so I’ll stop at that.
We start to value our body for what it can do, over how it looks. Childbirth and running a marathon reminded me just how amazing my body is. 65% of us say that our self image improves with age, experiences shape us. My body has scars and stretch marks but I love it. I respect it and talk to it nicely.
No more excuses or putting the blame onto others. No more waiting for a prince to rescue me. I have learnt to take responsibility for my actions which helps me to love harder too.
Not taking life so seriously and things so personally
Knowing we can’t please everyone and that it is actually nice to have a different perspective from someone is really liberating. Also, caring so much less about what people think feels fantastic. As long as I am being fair and not harming anyone, if someone has a problem with me then it’s actually nothing to do with me. Energy worrying about what others think is wasted. It feels so much lighter when we stop.
People say to me all the time “you are so positive and bubbly”. I love to talk openly about the times I am not. Like when I get anxious, sad or hormonal. I talk about when hubs and I argue and upset each other. I talk about the challenges of raising two young kids. I love to keep it real. Tune into BBC Two Live tomorrow morning (Victoria Derbyshire) to hear me give some real talk about parenting.
Having a positive mindset and getting the mind stronger takes a lot of hard work and training. Just like having a physically strong body does. You need to put in the time. You need to work hard at it. Yes, I work hard at my body these days but I work equally hard at my mind. I take time out to write, something I love to do. Writing is not only a passion and part of my job, it is my therapy. I take time out to read inspirational books, even just 5 minutes a day gives me a real buzz. I train my mind to be more grateful.
The hardest part these days is training my mind to be present. The moments that I do this are special. Like when I sit calmly with the kids, holding their hands and cuddling them. I look at them in awe.
Sometimes I get tears in my eyes because I am so present in the moment. I am so focused on the small details. Or I try to sit and stop and think about special people and moments in life. My hubs has always calls me a photo geek. I love taking pictures and looking through them. When I look at images captured of good times, I feel grateful. But yes, many day to day moments I also shout, feel deflated and fed up. That is life. Turning on some great music helps (if you follow my insta stories you will know this gets me through the hard moments).
The critics will say that talks about positive mindset are self indulgent. I say leave the moaning and groaning for the bedroom and get out and make the most of this life. Make each day count.
I hope I still have the same level of mojo at 40. Of course, bad things can happen. They can come and slap the shizzle out of our mojo. So we need as much armour as possible to get through the storms when they hit us hard.
Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this post please give it a “like”, it really helps. What gives you the mojo feeling? I would love some comments on this
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