I first realised I was going to be a parent in late November 2011. From that moment everything changed. My life became centred around someone else. A little person I had never met was taking up all of my thoughts. My body felt crippled with exhaustion and nausea as it created a little life. Despite like feeling I had been slapped around the face and guts, I was full of excitement and joy.
I was moved by the recent speech from The Duchess of Cambridge about both the rewarding yet challenging aspects of being a parent. We need to be open and honest about them.
This week I captured this beautiful image of my kids, they looked happy and extremely cute. It was a rewarding moment but it wasn’t that way for rest of the day. Around 10 minutes later they were screaming at each other over a toy. It was so loud and it gave me a headache. I felt frustrated. I craved peace and quiet. I’m only 34 but sometimes the noise just gets a bit much for me.
It is normal to have days like that, especially with young kids. Then there is the mess.
This was the price I had to pay to be allowed 20 minutes to cook dinner and do some dishes. If you watch my Insta stories, you will have witnessed Daddies reaction when he got home to this a few weeks ago.
If our little people are not leaving bowls of half eaten cereal or biscuits lying around then it’s toys. They love jigsaw puzzles – the more pieces, the more mess. I can live with that but my husband not so much. He likes to make a tidy home his priority. I often have to push to get my point across – we are not living in a show home. It’s a family home – a lived-in family home.
There are moments we shout, laugh and cry. Life is busy, it’s fun but it is not perfect. I have said it before and I will say it again. Parenthood is a crazy ride, as is marriage.
Whilst there are moments I get a bit overwhelmed by it all, I am aware that one day I will look back on this crazy, rewarding and challenging period and desperately long to have it back. I share below with you a very brief snapshot of my take on parenthood so far.
Parenthood is a crazy ride
From the moment you push them out – tea and toast makes everything better. Always stock up on bread, milk and tea bags.
Slow WiFi when the kids are sleeping or behaving well is soul destroying.
Some days you HAVE TO GET OUT – even if it’s harder than the crystal maze challenge to leave.
Nobody can make you feel as bad as your kids can but nobody can make you feel as high either. Well maybe Gerard Butler… that was some dream until my little boy jumped on my head begging me for milk.
Never get cocky because when you do it will all go tits up.
Tantrums are normal – it’s best not to panic or cry – BREATH. It is ok to ask for help, in fact if anyone offers say yes and say it quickly. If you have grandparents around that want to help – let them do it. It’s good for them and it is good for the kids too. It takes a village to raise a child and this takes so much pressure off.
Play doh is a child’s dream and a parents nightmare. I’ll take the nightmare though if it gives me 10 minutes peace and quiet.
You can never take too many pictures or videos but sometimes it is magical to sit calmly and cherish the moments without a phone or camera.
People without kids who say they are tired can do one.
Heart says have more kids, head says need more sleep. Happy to have more though if we can afford a nanny and a night nurse.
Parenting is the most stressful when you try and do anything (playing and cuddling aside).
Parenting is at it’s best when you just stop and look in wonder at the miracle you created. The cuddles are pretty amazing too.
Leaving the house somehow takes even longer when Daddy is around.
Running out of calpol hurts more than running out of tea and toast.
The day the dentist says all the teeth are though you breath a huge sign of relief. Then secretly wonder if it’s time for another. It wasn’t that bad was it? You see parenting makes us forget. We mostly look back at the blur of those early years and smile. The pain and the sleepless nights are long forgotten as a new challenge arises. The days can feel soooooo long but the years go too fast.
Being at work is much easier than looking after young kids but if you don’t love your job your heart will ache leaving them. This is especially soul destroying when your child is unwell and all you want to do is stay in pj’s, snuggling with them all day.
You often wonder how parents coped before cbeebies. When you can’t find the remote = it’s panic station.
Each time you go shopping with young kids you say ‘never again’
We would be lost without an ipad next to the side of the bed.
Nobody is a winner when removing a dirty nappy from a wrestling baby. Once you have nailed the potty trained, your little one always wants their bum wiped at the worst moment possible.
“Bonnie, I’m feeding your baby brother!!”. “I don’t care Mummy, take him off those boobies and wipe my bum…… H U R R A Y UP MUUUMMMMYYY!!!” Little hungry Charlie goes absolutely bonkers. I want to cry, when is Daddy home? Only another 6 hours to go.
A tidy house lasts around 3 minutes when the kids are at home. You often clear up as they follow you around trashing the place. Then when someone gets home (cough cough Daddy pig) and asks why the house is still a mess? you almost run out the door. In fact, sometimes you do #keeponrunning!
You secretly despise rough kids who push yours around in soft play.
Parents who drink coffee and ignore their rough kids pushing yours around are assholes.
Parenthood is exhausting and stressful and can make us all assholes.
Not many people pull off socks and sandles but your little people look adorable.
It may be the ‘in thing’ but family friendly restaurants who dish out pizza slicers are the bain of a parents life.
Alcohol always helps when kids are trashing your house.
Coffee and alcohol taste better than ever when you have kids.
Nothing comes close to the joy you feel when your babe says ‘I love you’.
What would you add? What have I missed?
To be continued.