Premenstrual syndrome – I remember hearing horror stories about it. I always used to feel for people. It just never bothered me that much……. UNTIL I because a Mum. Then it all changed. My name is Jojo and I am a PMS psycho.
My husband usually spots it first. I hear lines like “what is wrong with you?!” or “I think you should get out the house for a few hours”. Then it all becomes clear.
I am a people pleaser, often described as laid back and carefree. I have the ability to bite my tounge. If someone is being a bit unreasonable I try and think out the box. I try and put myself in their shoes to understand why they are being a bit of an asshole. Unless it is PMS week. Then all mercy, patience and compassion goes out the window.
I have no time for tantrums. If the kids refuse to get in their car seats then I will yell like Trump at a press conference (sorry neighbours). If someone offers unwanted parenting advice I will glare at them harder than the La La Land cast at the Oscars 2017 #epicfail. If the kids refuse to look at the camera for a photo I am desperate to take I get the rage. I act like a 12 year old. WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT ME NOW.
My body SCREAMS out to me “you need cake“. Which means self control it is at an all time low. I am like a demon possessed. The other day I literally inhaled a slice of lemon bakewell. Cake and PMS go together like tea and toast. I can’t get enough. Then I slump on the sofa and feel angry with myself. Why did I let that happen? I am meant to be on healthy living. Where has my self control gone? To make matters worse I have been keeping a food diary for my personal trainer #awkward – should I lie?
My body and my mind feel fragile. I feel like the world is against me. I have the PMS fear. I can’t handle the fact my husband takes FOREVER to tick things off our long list (the things he insisted I left him to sort) I need RIGHT NOW. Why would he make me wait? I don’t have time. I want to cry. Everything becomes so much more of an issue with PMS.
Apparently I am not alone: over 85 percent of women are victims. The crazy powerful hormones estragon and progesterone unbalance just before menstruation which creates an extreme biological change. These days GP’s are prescribing anti depressants to help with PMS symptoms.
Yes the struggle is real but I am trying my best to self medicate. Here are my top tips if you also struggle with PMS.
Warn friends and family
I like to leave a note in my diary when PMS is due. I write – psycho time. I then remind my dear husband as soon as it hits. Normally by sending him a quick email worded something life:
Warning – it’s that time again. Go easy on me.
Of course busy people often need a reminder. So if he comes home and uses some of his corkers “I fancied chicken not prawns”,”the house is a mess” or “did you forget to buy calpol?” then he might get a shock. I may throw a plate at the floor or I may slam the door and tell him I will see him next Tuesday. He had the warning. I love it when he listens – for one it saves us buying more plates.
Get out the house
Go for a massage or a facial. Go to your favourite café, meet up with a friend or relax with a good book. Take some time away to unwind and find your balance again.
Run a nice hot bath
I’m not just talking any old bath either. I am talking your all time favourite candles and bath oils. I am talking the ultimate of self care baths.
Let your body have some cake. You need it. Try not to feel guilty about it. Next week you will feel much better and less bloated. For now give your body what it needs. Never starve yourself with diets and eat when you are hungry. Also – if you are Edinburgh based – Loudons do thee best almond and lemon cake I have ever tasted. I gobbled it up before I could snap – sorry (not sorry).
Booze and Caffeine
I find they make the PMS fear worse so go easy on them.
The all natural, happy chemicals that exercise gives to us helps to soften the blow of the hard-core estragon and progesterone unbalance. Also a yoga class is excellent. My favourite is Body Balance (the tunes are amazing) and it has meditation in the dark at the end. I love a snooze.
Read a feel good book or watch a feel good movie
There is nothing quite like a bit of positive vibes. Read good books and follow blogs that give you a boost.
Get into music. I gave up piano lessons when I was a kid because I thought playing an instrument was uncool. I now watch my brothers hit those keys and I feel well jel. I have decided to take up lessons again because playing the piano for an hour feels like 5 minutes. I truly believe that music is therapy.
You don’t have to start a blog if that isn’t your thing but writing down your feelings can help. Channel the angry energy into something creative. Get one of those adult colouring books. Write a quick list of things you are thankful for to try and put the fingers up to the negative voices going on in your head. It is normal to feel like the world is against you. It is normal to snap and turn into a total diva.
So – there are my tips. I hope they help but if you are worried about how PMS is affecting you and your relationships then please see your GP. Help is available and you are most certainly not alone.