Hey my new best friend. Loving your banter and your little gold back. You are one slick model. We have a lot of great times. You come crammed with banter, gossip and all sorts of fabulousness. I like having you around.
In fact, I recently felt pretty lost without you. Like a part of me was missing. My fingers started twitching and I became grumpy, dazed and confused. It was like a case of serious FOMO. Then 18 hours later I picked you up. I felt complete again. Until I went to the gym and saw a sign about “engaging with my family – tech free”.
I felt a pang of guilt. Since then I’ve been thinking. You see, my husband and I got chatting. Turns out, he is feeling a bit neglected. As are my kids. My Mum has made a few comments too. I hope they all know I love them so much more than I love you.
As for the kids, they are growing up in front of my eyes and I often pick you over them. Do you know my 4 year old has grown 2 inches in the past month?! Nah you probably don’t care. Look, iphone I need to be honest. You may be painted gold but these little people are the cutest, most magical things that have ever happened to me. You should know them pretty well now. You are filled with images of them. Yip – I am sorry it must get pretty boring compared to some of the images you used to get in my ‘party days’.
It’s 2017 now old pal and I am making some changes. I can’t really go back on them either as I wrote about them in the news. Lots of people read it and lots of people have written to me about it. It turns out they feel the same and sadly some so much worse. If you read this please don’ be too mad, I love you really.
These comments were the icing on the cake. Smoking, gambling, booze, drugs, coffee, tea or sugar – they are all way last season. It turns out you my little dear are the current problem. Phone addiction is real and it seems I am not the only one struggling. So I am setting some rules:
2017 iphone rules
1 – You will not come into the gym with me or any classes I do – you have no place in yoga pal. David Lloyd – you have my back with your tech free Sunday and I love you for that. Nor will you come running with me outdoors – the garmin watch is taking your place.
2 -I am going to treat myself to a nice new camera and when I go for a family walk you will be left at home #sorry.
3 – If I go for a relaxing kiddie free bath my only accessories are candles, magazines, ESPA oils or scrubs and a decent coffee or glass of fizz.
4 – I will put you away charging for an hour a day – and reconnect with my family. That isn’t much now. Some days you might go away even longer but I still love you ok? You probably want to know what I am doing without you. I will spend this time either:
-With the kids on the floor doing jigsaws (kids ones are still a challenge) or playing with those addictive playmags.
– Chilling out watching trashy TV like Made in Chelsea or The Affair.
– Cooking beautiful food and listening to music – again I will use my new camera to snap it up for instagram. If you love food get involved and click here –
– Dancing with the kids to feel good beats.
– Making slushy’s ‘Mr Frostie style’ #timeless.
Tidying (this is lower on the agenda clearly).
In bed with my husband (not lower on the agenda but we are married with 2 young kids so I am keeping it real). Don’t be offended but you will be thrown on the floor so I can’t see you flashing. You are such a tease.
One thing I am proud of is that I have ALWAYS tried my best to keep you away from the dinner table if I am with friends and family. That’s just plain rude and a bit unfair on you cos you don’t eat. Whose the tease now?!
I have no intention of throwing you away like I would with a packet of fags or a bottle of vodka. I need you for so many reasons BUT (yes there is a but) one thing I know – if I lost you it would be awful. Those 18 hours were long. But if I lost those I love – those people who are actually breathing, talking, walking – that would be so much worse. They need to know that no matter what I will ALWAYS love them so much more than I will ever love you.
So – 2017 when we lost way too many good souls in 2016 (not just the famous ones either) I will be working just as hard but loving EVEN harder.
“Mummy Jojo I want to thank you for your article. I am that wife who ignores her husband. I am that friend who sits on her phone all night. A friend told me recently she is done with me. God help my kids if I ever have any. I need help”.
“I worry my kids don’t know how much I love them because I am always on my phone. I hate myself but I actually can’t stop. It’s worse than a gram of coke”.
“It’s harder being without my phone than fags and I used to smoke 40 a day”!
“I can’t remember the last time I read a book or sat on the floor playing with my beautiful kids who are growing up so fast. I can however tell you everything that is happening on facebook”.
May 2017 be the year we find balance x