My baby boy,
You turned 2 last week. The day began with you cuddled up next to me whispering ‘wake up Mummy’. Your skin felt warm and as I kissed your soft head of hair I smiled in anticipation for the day ahead.
We opened your gifts and played. When I went to make a cup of tea you were sad. You wanted me with you to enjoy all of the exciting new toys. We eat breakfast together. You always chose to sit next to Mummy. With love you fed me a bite of your buttery croissant and gave me a big cheeky grin. You love sharing your food with me.
I blew on your tummy before I got you dressed and you laughed and said ‘again Mummy’.
You don’t like it when I go in the shower. You miss me. You often stand and watch me whilst knocking on the cubicle door and after about 30 seconds you bring me a towel. You then like to help me dry my hair and cleanse my face. You kiss me and say ‘you smell nice Mummy’.
We went on a bus to go to the Christmas markets – I think it’s the first bus Daddy has been on since 1991. You wanted me next to you. When I left you with Daddy for a few minutes to take Bonnie up to the top deck your heart broke a little bit and you cried ‘MAMA’. When I took her on the big scary swings (that Star Flyer is intense) you looked up at me and cried. Trust me, you were better down on the ground #panicattack.
You like having me around. You enjoy laughing at the stories I tell you about the time you were in my tummy.
When we had our 20 week scan and it was confirmed you were a boy I was super excited. I was so intrigued by this whole ‘Mother son bond’ so many talk of. The first day we met I kept calling you “she” because-
1 – I was high on morphine
2 – You looked so like your big sis
Then I remembered – I would need to change your nappy slightly differently.
To me though, you weren’t just a different gender. You were a totally different little person. Whilst I knew your sister so well, I had no idea about you.
You soon started to give us clues about the type of person you are. The definition of boisterous captures you perfectly. You are a force of destruction: obsessed with balls and bats, adventure and mess. You suit your name perfectly: the cheekiest little Charlie I will ever have the pleasure of knowing.
You drive me wild some days. You are constantly on the go – non stop. I’m not one to assign specific behaviors or qualities to gender but there is absolutely no denying that extra dose of energy you bring. You are attracted to danger – we have been to sick kids twice already and yet to go with Bonnie.
If I make a coffee you just have to be sitting beside me. You beg me for a biscuit so you can dunk it in. I like my coffee strong though so have started giving you your own cup. You didn’t like it at first but we are cool now.
You love to follow me around trashing the place as I tidy. You need to be in the same room as me as often as possible.
You are not just ‘a boisterous boy’ though. You are sweet, caring little Charlie. When you give me a hug and say “love you Mummy” your little body literally melts into mine. You are not after anything, which is often the way with your sister. You just want me to know that you love me. There are no complications. No mind games. It’s just pure love.
You totally and utterly adore your Mama. You have my back always. If Daddy ever shouts at me you run up to him, give him a smack and say “leave my Mummy”. That’s the crazy Mother son love that melts my heart. Bonnie has that same softness for her Daddy which is both super annoying and truly special to watch. The girl does not understand the meaning of girl power yet. If I tell her a secret she will run up and tell Daddy as soon as she see’s him.
“Daddy, Mummy put money in that car you always tell us is broken, she told me not to tell you”
We have our special moments but she is Daddies little girl. If we are watching a movie she will always chose Daddy and you will always pick me. We are top snuggling partners, although you can be really annoying when you jump up and down on my head.
I will always love you and your sister equally but there is no denying her independence. You have always needed me that little bit more.
I love watching you do what society labels ‘girly things’. You look so cute when you play with dolls. I love seeing you whip me up a cup of tea and a sandwich from the pink toy kitchen.
When you are older I would be delighted to take you out for afternoon tea and to the spa if you like. If you are anything like your Dad you will be into massages and bottles of fizz and cocktails instead of beer.
Be bold my boy. Always do what you want to do, not what you think you should do. Never follow the crowds. Keep your physical, wild side but keep that sweet softness. It’s good to be vulnerable.
I don’t quite know how to fully explain this whole Mother son bond that I feel. I just know it works. I know that even when I crave my own space, I love how much you need me. I love how much you cherish me. I find it adorably cute the way you currently kick Daddy out of bed every night and say “leave me and Mummy”.
You claw down the door when I leave the house. You embrace me tightly when I get home.
I want you to know that you have made your mark. You have come into this world and shaken it up.
You have my heart always my little Mummies boy,