Some of my pals tell me “you aint done yet, you will definetly be having a 3rd” or “I think you will have an accident”. Well yes that could well happen as long as my hubs continues to chicken out on the scissors. If it does I will love that little child with all my heart.
Don’t get me wrong – part of me really wants a 3rd. How nice would it be to have another? I am tempted, really I am. My heart, like Nike, says – just do it.
Then the voice of reason kicks in. I have a healthy, beautiful, quirky little girl and a healthy cheeky, cuddly little boy. They call that a millionaire family (cough cough show me the money). Am I just being greedy considering a 3rd? Can’t I be content with what I have?
Reasons to stick with 2
1 – Sleep – the current situation is BAD. I miss sleep so much. I am an 8 hour gal. My kids have FOMO. It is a disaster. I am sure parents of children who sleep are WAY more likely to have a 3rd child. Do I really want it to be 2030 before I can get a long lie after a few too many coconut margaritas?
2- my husband and I have two young kids only 2 years apart and we are still talking. I find this pretty impressive as some days I have been tempted to run FAR AWAY. There are moments that we actually still like each other. We even have the occasional snog in the kitchen and schedule in time to hit the love shack. Yes – we have to schedule it. I worry that a 3rd would change that.
3- I only have two hands. My 4 year old often says “Mummy wouldn’t it be great if you had more hands”. Go figure.
4- Our balance currently works. We have a little Daddies girl and a Mummies boy. Would a 3rd child stir it up? Would it take away the sibling bond? That pair can argue but man they are solid.
5-Our limited childcare would disappear – no couple time, no trips away to Gleneagles for the night. No kiddie free lunches out or spa days. My Mother in Law has already warned me that if we have a 3rd there is “NO WAY they will babysit”.
6 – I so nearly had a meltdown in Marks foodhall yesterday. The lack of sleep didn’t help and I was yet to receive my coffee fix. I had given the kids biscuits to keep them in the trolley. What a fool: 20 minutes later the sugar kicked in and it was an absolute disaster. Imagine being there with 3 kids ??!!
7 – we would need a new car – could that be a plus? I really want leather heated seats.
8 – 2 more rounds of potty training, 3 lots of homework, 3 lots of washing, 3 kids to buy flights for? 3 sets of gifts to wrap on Christmas eve?
9 -the 3rd child comes last? No photos, no classes or parties, no time to read to them – they just have to slot in. A little bit of neglect is character building?
10 – my labours were brutal. I would need an elective c section because my babies just don’t come out. My placenta clearly dishes out champagne and fillet steak. The thing is – not even a marathon this year has fully sorted the damage that pair did to my abs. We currently cannot afford a tummy tuck.
11 – Peppa Pig – hearing those annoying voices for another six or so years ??!! and Mr Tumble? “ahhhhhh haaahahahha”.
But here is the catch –
I am a 3rd child. If my parents didn’t just do it (love you Nike) I would not be here. I love life. I am so freaking glad to be alive. Even when it all gets too much and ‘perfect’ Mum tells me I am failing miserably. Even when I am so tired I wonder how I will get through the long days. As my husband pointed out when he was on holiday last week “the days are long at home right – work goes so much quicker”. I put my fingers up behind his back as he set off suited and booted the following day.
I am a frazzled Mum but the love I have for these little people makes it ok. These little people amaze me. There is no high like the high of creating a new little life. The high that comes from looking down at that precious little face. The high that comes from seeing that first smile. From hearing those first words. The high that comes from hearing “I love you Mummy” for the first time. The high that comes from watching your kids laugh, sing and dance. Watching them grow and learn.
I’m torn. Do I follow my head or my heart?
I need to go – the phone is ringing. I think it is Bupa confirming my husbands snip appointment.