Second baby guilt hurts

The other day whilst our little girl was at nursery, my husband and I took our son for a walk.  As we held his little hands it hit me, it was just the three of us.  Three of us out crunching down on orange leaves together.  We gave him a 1, 2, 3 weeeeee and threw him up in the air.  He laughed hysterically and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt.  You see, his big sister had us all to herself for two years and 3 whole months.  She never had to fight for our attention.  We were all hers.  She had countless 1, 2, 3 weeeee throws up towards the sky.  

As he looked up at us he beamed with smiles.  Both of us were fixated fully on him and he was loving it.  Our little babe was grinning like a cheshire cat who had just got the cream.  This wasn’t just any cream either.  It was whipped chantilly cream.

There were no distractions.  It was a moment.  A really special, lovely moment.

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Our second baby
There have been very few moments that I can think of with our little boy where it has been the 3 of us.  Moments he has had both Mummy and Daddy all to himself.  He shares us.  He shares us with his sister who can shout louder.  She can grab things quicker.  She can run faster.  She can jump on the trampoline much higher.

She plans our diary – trips to softplay or play dates.  Forget baby sensory or monkey music. His 1st birthday party had more of her friends on the guest list than his.  He doesn’t care though because he loves her. She has always been there, he has always had to share Mummy and Daddy.  That is life as he knows it.  He wouldn’t change it.

 

Our sweet second baby has clothes thrown on him as we mutter ‘that will do’ and scream to big sis ‘get your shoes on NOOOOOW’.  His big sis had carefully planned outfits which we put on at our leisure.  Perhaps singing softly and sweetly at the same time.   Our first baby wore cashmere cardigans that Harper Beckham would be envious of.

Our second baby often gets his nappy changed when it is falling down to his ankles. Our first baby had a fresh one every couple of hours.

Our second baby had chocolate and ice cream at 7 months, our first baby had organic roasted vegetable with roasted lamb and mint jus.  The second baby plays with all the old toys and had his big sisters trike spray painted for his first birthday.  The second baby goes in what was once a shiny and gleaming pram.

The second baby just slots in.  They don’t care where they go, what they wear and what they get for birthdays and Christmas (yet).  They don’t envy their older siblings – the idolise them.  They would do anything for them.  The second baby goes with the flow.

Every now and again though there will be a moment.  A moment where it is fully about them.  Those moments are truly special and they deserve it.  The second baby is just as loved, even if we have less time to show it

 

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Our second baby on his 1st birthday

 

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