It’s embarrassing to cry but sometimes we need to

Crying makes us feel vulnerable doesn’t it?  I was lying on the sofa the other week watching Titanic.  Oh dear I could feel the lump in my throat.  I just wanted to lose myself in it, release all that tension and cry it out.  I felt stupid though.  It would make people in the room feel really awkward and embarrassed.  Ouch, I am fighting against it.  Holding in tears actually really hurts.  My throat is pounding with pain.  The knot is getting deeper.  I need to embrace the kleenex and cry it out. Ah it’s too hard.  Fight it, fight it.  I am looking at people in the corner of my eye to see if they have clocked the wobble.  My throat is shaking.  Sod it, I surrender.  It feels good to cry sometimes.  It feels good to be able to feel emotion.  Not everyone has that privilege.

Ah UK – what a reputation we have.  Keep calm and carry on.  Don’t share your problems.  People don’t need to hear it.  Then the booze comes out and it’s a game changer. It makes us more open. I know for sure that any stiff upper lip I pretend to have goes right out the window after a few glasses of wine. I loosen up.  Tears are totally on tap if something moves me.  I am prone to telling stupid stories about the days I used to party like there was no tomorrow.

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Pre ‘Mummy Jojo’ days

There are of course moments in life that I feel like crying.  For one, I have two utterly amazing little people I am fully responsible for, who can challenge me like no other.  What was I thinking to have two kids only 2 years apart?  Would I change it? No way.  I have fallen deeply for these beautiful little people.  I am totally whipped.  Sometimes though I need to meet up with a friend and talk it over.  I need to talk about the moments my head spins out of control or how I miss just sitting on the loo in peace.  I need to escape with my husband to a cocktail bar for a few hours to tell him I am sorry for being such a crap wife.  To tell him that I love him really but the kids take up so much of my energy that there are days I have nothing left to give.  He used to come first and now two little people have taken his place.  I have traded my heels for slippers.  If I am not going out at night my bra is often off by 6pm and I am wearing my comfies.  Who invented the expression yummy mummy? What a lot of crap.  Then there are days I see someone I love upset or I turn on the news and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces.  Why wouldn’t I cry?

People need to know that crying is ok.  In fact it is healthy – too much suppression can lead to depression.  Tears can flush away negative chemicals from our bodies.  When we become upset and stressed there is an imbalance of chemicals.  Crying helps to reduce this.  I’m not saying we should go around balling our eyes out every day. There is a balance and if you feel like crying every day then all the more reason to be open with someone about your feelings.  If you have not cried for a while and feel a bit tension I suggest sticking on Philadelphia, Marley and Me, Titanic, Miss you already (ouch that one really hurt).  Sometimes we all need a good cry – even if we don’t have a reason. Cry out any negativity and let someone give you a hug.

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