My husband works out a lot. It used to annoy me a bit actually. He is slightly addicted to the gym and is always on the go. I used to get frustrated when I saw him checking himself out in the mirror. I would call him a ‘poser’ and ‘self obsessed’. The thing is, he isn’t self obsessed. He is caring, he is thoughtful, and he has a beautiful soul. He also works VERY hard in the gym, is super strong and likes to occasionally admire his pecks.
Then I got to thinking – why shouldn’t he appreciate what he sees in the mirror? Hard work pays off, he should be proud. If someone worked hard studying for an exam and got an A they would feel proud of their achievement. What is the difference? Perhaps it used to annoy me when I was less active. The days when I couldn’t be bothered exercising. The days when I just didn’t get it. I told myself I just wasn’t meant to be sporty. It didn’t interest me enough and I didn’t have enough commitment and energy. I am a foodie, are foodies not meant to be a little overweight? Why couldn’t he just join me for the ride? It would make me feel better if we were on the same wave.
Is this our British culture? We have such a reputation for our cynicism – England seem to get the most stick for having a ‘stiff upper lip’. Never trust a skinny chef they say. In that case is it stupid of me to think I can ever get into one of those tight bodycon dresses without totally starving myself?
Surely it is possible to enjoy great food (and wine) and be a healthy weight? What about all the fit people I know who love food? My husband eats A LOT, the boy loves his food. He also looks great with his kit off too and is extremely fit. What motivates him to stay in shape? About 12 years ago he was young and carefree and getting a lot of takeaways. He was drinking a fair bit too. It caught up with him. It can be so easy for the weight to creep up on us when we are having fun. Losing weight takes discipline and commitment. Putting it on is so easy. Too easy unfortunately. I never knew him in those days so it came as a great shock when a friend of ours showed me this picture.
This guy looks absolutely nothing like the fitness obsessed balded sexy beast that I know. Who is this person? He is still the same person I love. The clever, hardworking guy with the top banter and gorgeous big blue eyes. I would still have been attracted to him back then because to me he just has something special. He lights up a room.
When he was larger he didn’t notice it. He still felt confident despite his friends banterous comments of him ‘eating all the pies’. It is only now when he looks back that he realises that he had let himself go. Although he also swears that this is a pretty bad picture of him and a very bad angle. He tells me he is never going back to that weight and I believe him. I now understand what he means. I never want to have to buy large clothes I don’t like again.
My husband is addicted to the energy he gets after a workout and always reminds himself of how good he will feel at the end. There really is no such thing as a bad workout. He has encouraged me on the days that I just can’t be bothered. People used to tell me that I was great the way I was. That I pulled off being slightly heavier. They told me that I was beautiful that way and if I was happy that was all that mattered. The problem was though that I wasn’t happy. I think we know deep down when we lack confidence and energy. It is our choice what we do with that. I still lust over those tight dresses I don’t feel confident enough to wear just yet. The difference now is I know I am on the path to being able to wear one. Hard work pays off. After my marathon I will get signed up for another running event. Fitness is not a fad.
So I would now like to say to my hubs – for the times I told you to ‘stop being so vain’ for having the odd glance at your pecks in the mirror – I am sorry. I should have said ‘looking great, you must have worked really hard for that body’. I am sorry if I didn’t encourage you more and recognise just how hard you work and how fit you are. I am proud of you and I get it now #workitbaby x