Judgemental Mum – don’t cry over pink lipstick x

Valentine’s Day 2016 and the sky is shining bright.  The hubs just gave me the best gift ever – a two hour nap.  It was amazing.  I needed it.  We have driven to the Botanic Gardens in Edinburgh, it is such a stunning wee spot.  It is also ideal for our 1 year old who is currently in the honeymoon period of walking – that boy needs to be somewhere enclosed. We are all feeling cheery and ready for a nice crisp walk in the winter sun.  To our delight we find a parking space right outside the entrance.  Just as we are about to get out the car I think ah it’s Valentine’s day – I will stick on some pink lipstick.  A few seconds later as the hubs opens the door I hear “Look at her, what a joke sitting there putting her makeup on”. I catch the ladies eye and realise she is talking about me in sheer disgust.  She actually sounds furious. Wow, that was harsh. My bubble is slightly burst.  As her husband looks round to witness my monstrous act he can see I have heard and quickly puts his head down like an embarrassed child.

This lady looks about my age or perhaps a few years older.  She is dressed fairly smart – a nice woolen hat, jeans, boots and leather bag.  I look at her face, it doesn’t look like she has makeup on – just a big frown.  Don’t get me wrong – I will often be that Mum on the school run or at softplay with not a drop of makeup on.  Getting dressed and out the door is hard enough some days.  Today though I found the time.  Sometimes a bit bronzer, some mascara and lipstick is just what we need to get in the mood for the day.  If I am really feeling it I go all out and slap the primer and foundation on – how luxurious.  I speculate – perhaps this lady believes Mum’s who wear makeup are selfish. Perhaps she feels that taking the time to attempt to look glam is neglecting the kids. Perhaps she is disgusted that I am making the kids wait an extra 10 seconds in the car.  Perhaps she thinks it is inappropriate to put makeup on in the car full stop. Either way this Mum clearly has a huge chip on her shoulder.

Obviously I am going to bump into her a few times throughout the two hours we spend there.  Each time I do I feel a negative energy.  That feeling you get when you know you have been judged.  Why care?  I don’t know.  I guess as much as I tell myself it is her problem not mine I can’t help but caring a tiny bit.  Is she looking at me thinking I am less of a Mother than her because I stopped to think of myself and how I wanted to look? In her opinion should the perfect Mother look pure and organic like this?

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Why are some people so easily angered?  Instead of walking around seeing the good in things – such as the lovely blue sky, her two beautiful children, her handsome partner and all the smiley faces out there (mine being one of them before I heard those words) she chose (on the day of love may I add tut tut) to have a dig at some Mum in a nearby car that she knows nothing about.

Who really cares if I am putting makeup on? Why in any way, shape or form should it impact her day?  Who else does she judge in the park?  Perhaps a parent who isn’t walking close enough to their child? a couple who show some PDA (I did witness a few frisky Valentine’s passionate kisses as we ran after our two kids).  Good on them is what I thought and why shouldn’t I? Kissing is a wonderful thing.  Lipstick is pretty great too.

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High on life rocking my pink lips

Then when I really think about it I am just as bad.  I am now judging her – a Mum at the Botanic’s that I know nothing about. I wonder why this non makeup wearing Mum had got so upset about a random stranger.  What is going on in her life that made her get so easily angered? Perhaps the kids kept her up in the night and she was exhausted.  Perhaps she didn’t get the bunch of flowers she expected that morning.  Perhaps she had a tough week at work or maybe she had a shocking hangover.  Maybe she just needed a good rant and I was an easy target.

All I know is that the most attractive thing we can do is to smile and laugh.  Lipstick or not – happiness looks gorgeous.  Rather than spending our life looking for the bad in people why don’t we look a little closer and try and see the good? Let’s save the tears for the important stuff – don’t cry over pink lipstick xx

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3 comments

  1. Oh bless you! I hope your Valentine’s Day got better.
    It can be amazing how we judge each other for so many reasons. I try so hard myself but often fail. I’m worst at judging myself too.
    I love wearing make up now I’m a mum. Seems like such a luxury to spoil myself every so often. Please keep on wearing your pink lippy and smiling 💋💋😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. […] Last Friday morning I met a TOTAL ASSHOLE.  I was in Urban Village hotel getting packed up to head to the car with the kids.  My 1 year old ran away from me for what I guess was the 27th time that day – if you are a parent you will get how insanely annoying this can be. I am known for being relaxed and smiley but sometimes I actually want to pull my hair out.  Just keep still for one minute boy or I may scream or cry.  As I was gathering up our things he ran a few yards away from me towards some cool looking light feature with birds in it.  As I went to grab him a fairly handsome guy with a nice Northern Irish accent came up to me and said in a really patronizing, nasty tone ‘excuse me, he is going to burn his hands’.  Do you think I can’t see this?  Do you think I am not already stressed enough as I run towards him with my bags and a 4 year old screaming for more juice.  Why instead of judging and being rude to me do you not see that I have my hands TOTALLY FULL.  Do you have any idea how stressful this can be?  Do you have any idea how much I would love another pair of hands.  Why couldn’t he just be nice and help for a split second instead of judging?  He made a stressful situation worse and had an impact on my mood for about an hour.  Negativity breeds.  I felt low like the day I had been judged by a fellow Mum for wearing lipstick. […]

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