Who are the 1st birthday celebrations really for??!!

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My second baby is 1 in less than two weeks say whaaaaaaat?!  Boy I love that wee cheeky chap.  His smile is infectious, he has a great nature and is a total charmer.  I love watching him smile at people and wait for them to gush over him – which they always do.   He is hard work though, into everything and currently loves throwing himself down any toilet in sight.  Hiding in showers is also a big hit.  He is currently pretty rubbish at cuddles, gutted.  Charlie loves being on the move and looks at me in disgust if I try to embrace and kiss him for more than 5 seconds.  I get a pretty amazing snuggle if he is over tired or ill but who wants to wish that on their child just for a hug #despomama

Baby loves hiding in showers
Baby loves hiding in showers

This week has been tricky, I suspect another tooth is coming and the wee cherub has a nasty cold.  The nap routine is hard.  I like a bit of consistency, a wee bit of structure to my day.  Sometimes we nail it and he naps a treat.  Not this week.  I think I have burned more calories rocking him back and forward (attempting to get him to settle before the cot transfer) than running and that is saying something as I am training for a half marathon distance this month.  There were points I was getting super frustrated as he made that familiar creeky door noise.  Look Charlie that is your tired noise, just go to sleep and get over it.  Otherwise you are going to be grumpy and over sensitive and we are all going to have a rubbish day.  I was tempted to scream this at him on a couple of occasions.  Then there was this one sweet moment, I finally got him down.  I had bribed wee Bonnie with her favourite movie and biscuits.  She promised she would not come in his room.  I cemented this deal further by saying she wouldn’t get to go to nursery and see her bestie Amelia if she woke him.  Even Bon has her limits though and I was slightly taking the p by the amount of time I had spent rocking him.  ‘Muuuuummmmmy this is taking ages’ Charlie’s eyes open instantly and he smiles – no nap Mummy I am coming back to play with my big Sista.

Despite the hard days, of course I wouldn’t change it.  He is going to be 1 and we are going to spoil him.  Will he remember it? No.  I will though.  Does he remember being born almost a year ago? No.  I will never forget it.  Before I become a parent I never really considered what my Mum went through to have me and what my parents sacrificed to raise me.  My birthday was all about me.  A celebration of being alive and reaching another milestone. Now in my head it is no longer just about me.  I was in Spain over my last birthday and I felt the need to call my parents just to say thanks for having me.  Special thanks to Mum for all the pain you went through, physically and emotionally.  Thanks for sitting singing alone in the hospital as you waited for Dad to arrive (hurry up babysitters) and endured the pain with nobody to rub your back.  Thanks also for putting up with me for the past 33 years – the tantrums, the drama over what would be super trivial issues, thanks for all the kindness you showed and for always putting me first.  Now I know that is just what Mum’s/Dad’s/families do.  Now I finally understand what unconditional love is.

When Charlie turns 1 we will be showering him in kisses and enjoying watching him tear open gifts but we will also be drinking champagne and giving ourselves a well deserved pat on the back for surviving his 1st year.  For all those sleepless nights, crazy moments attempting to leave the house, all those nappies, the sick we wiped up.  I wrote this in gest but it was all 100% fact – https://mummyjojo.com/2015/08/06/signs-you-are-a-mum-who-needs-a-break/

I will toast my champagne to all those glasses I didn’t have in 2014 as I watched my body stretch at the speed of lightening and got kicked in the ribs.  I will toast to having Charlie safely outside. I will toast to being home a year later rather than in the hospital bed off my face on morphine.  We will dance, sing and celebrate his smile.  Bring it on x

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That smile melts my heart

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